Size Matters

Yes, this is very well going where you think it is going, so consider this your opportunity to opt out. :)

The year was 1991. It was an interesting year for me because for as long as I had been legally on my own, this was my very first "real" free living situation. I had a roommate who wasn't related to me or the mother of a friend. I had an apartment and utilities with my name on them. There were nights where I had the apartment completely to myself.

It was also the year when I was so desparately trying to find a relationship that might not be with Chuck.

I had been out on a couple of dates with a couple of guys, but they went no where – mentally or physically. Nice guys, there was just no chemistry. That may have been my fault because again, I was trying to get over Chuck. And I was a little unsure of the whole physical rules anyway. Up until this point in my life, sex had been something initiated by the guy, and something I had just pretty much gone along with. And yes, while I had certainly had an emotional connection before, there had never been any big O fireworks for me. Part of that was inexperience; another part was that it had always been something you had to do kind of quickly based on your location, timing, etc.

Then along came Ingo. Ingo is short for part of his last name. He was a friend of a friend, and he was in some sort of relationship, where they were “on a break,” a la Ross & Rachel so apparently only one of them was on a break. Ingo’s nickname was “Ingotit,” and as you will soon find out, yes, yes he did have it.

We hung out a few times. There was flirting. There was kissing. And I do recall that he was a good kisser. One night, he and Mack were at my place. My roommate was gone for the night. Then Mack left us. All alone. I let him lead, I was more aggressive than ever before. And it was like it is in the soaps. You start in one room, move back to the bedroom. Clothes are flying, covers are flying, hands are all over each other. Then wham! Everything comes to a halt because it. doesn’t. fit. No matter what we do, it’s just not working. And then I freeze mentally, which just made it worse. He ended up still spending the night, but we never got on course. I was somewhat humiliated, and this was made worse when my roommate came bouncing in to talk – not expecting a man in my bed.

More humiliation. Then he told Mack, who told me that he was just going back to his girlfriend. Ugh. I saw them out together a few weeks later. More ugh. She wasn’t even pretty. That was the last time I saw him. Not the last time I had thought about him, especially now that I am almost 20 years older, wiser, and certainly more experienced. *grin*

Until yesterday. My husband had taken my kid to the movies. I had a bazillion things to do, including running errands. I didn’t have on makeup, but I still looked summery cute. Healthy color in my face, still have a nice tan, haven’t completely lost all of my muscle tone. I have on shorts and a tank – sleeveless is my look these days due to my injury. So I had one of those tanks with the bra built in. I’m walking through Target pulling a cart since I can’t really push one. And I’m in my usual “busy” state of mind. I had already bumped into two neighbors, distracting me even more. I’m focused, looking straight ahead when all of a sudden who comes into my sight face to face. Ingo. With her. I don’t really think she noticed, but he did. And we’re walking toward each other both trying to look straight ahead while both maintaining complete eye contact. I know he knows who I am, and he knows that I know. I don’t say a word because really, what am I going to going to say, “Hey, I’d know what to do with it now?”

I keep the partial stare down, trying hard to keep myself from smirking and telling myself repeatedly, “Don’t look back.” It’s suddenly 2000 degrees in the store, but to look at me, you’d think it was 30. When I can longer stand it, I peer back and find that he has as well – at least he has reached the check-out line. I dart into the nearest aisle, which of course is the aisle with the condoms. Hello Magnums! I burst into the biggest fit of laughter, so much so that I have to take about five minutes before I can go up to the pharmacy counter. Even then, it takes a few moments to speak.

I wanted to tell someone, but I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t call anyone because how am I going to even begin that story to anyone who knows me. And I certainly can’t talk about it with my husband.

I totally facebooked him today, but he’s not there.

My new boyfriend

I don't know if anyone is even still here. But I am spreading the word. I am a gay woman and I am on love with a man. Keith Olberman.
I have never been an activist nor a flag waver and have always been passive in living my life as a gay woman. But since the passage of Prop 8 in California, that has all changed. I have decided to become involved.
As a start, Michelle and I attended our first Rally/Protest this weekend and we aren't stopping there. I really am mad as hell and not going to take it anymore. This is now my most important social issue (selfish as it may be) and I plan on fighting until the bitter end.
After watching the people at the SF rally yesterday, I was moved to tears more than once. Gay-Straight-Black or White, marriage is a Civil right.
Anyhow, Keith says it best in this video. I think anyone who supported Prop 8 should watch this video and maybe take a second look at what they did.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUXK7As-yl0

Your Favorite Halloween Costume

Mine? The year I dressed up like a killer bee. I made the costume myself, but there really wasn't much to it. I wore a vest that I had striped with yellow tape, and a headband with springs attached, that had balls at the end, like antennae. I made that headband up myself, and a year later they sold those things in the stores. This was back in 1981. I'd post the picture, but I don't have it handy. I hit some poor guy in the head with the bouncing antennae, as we danced.

I also dressed like Princess Leah the following year. That was fun. I wore a long white dress, and had my hair in 2 side buns.

So what's been your favorite costume over the year?

The Character Issue

Just curious how you're reacting to the recent turns in politicking. I am disgusted and rather disillusioned.

Back in the primary season, John McCain was the only Republican that I would have even contemplated voting for in November. I, obviously somewhat foolishly, believed that he held himself to a higher standard than Politics As Usual. Now I'm feeling slightly duped, but my feelings must pale in comparison to those of someone who DID vote for him in the past--either in the 2000 race or the 2008 primaries. I mean, talk about a total personality collapse. Oy.

I don't expect politicians to be 100 percent truthful. The need for spin is determined by our news cycles as well as our often ignorant electorate. I can forgive a candidate some fudging on the numbers or a carefully phrased presentation of only half the story. What I can't forgive, though, is the dirty political tactics that pander to racist idiots who wouldn't vote for a minority if he was the only name on the ticket. McCain says that Obama is a decent man, let's make this about the issues in one breath and then tries to make him out to be a terrorist sympathizer in the next. I can't even discuss Palin at the moment for fear that Blogger would explode into flames, but I've read some commentaries from those who knew her in Alaska that say her change in style is equally distressing.

How is this playing out in your area? I'm sad to say that racism is still a powerful motivator around here. Any gains made through this election will be small, but they will, at least, be gains. I'm still fuming over the Harold Ford race in 2006. I don't think Obama has a chance to carry Tennessee, but I do hope he makes progress over Kerry (surely he will). How about in your neck of the woods? Does character count for anything anymore?

Beautiful Fall

Enjoy!

Breaking News!!!!!

South Koreans are 3" shorter than North Koreans. Carry On.
Oh crap, maybe it was the other way around. Well there goes my bid for the Presidency since I don't know the difference.

Are we still here?

So what's your take on the McCain pullout? (if that were anybody but McCain that might have dirty connotations *shudder*)
I have yet to hear from anybody who is thinks it is a positive thing. Anybody here?
And while on that topic, is anybody in favor of the $700 billion bailout?